Loosing the half of me

Now people say whatever happens happens for good. When someone moves away from our lives , they are just making space for someone new and better.

They say a lot of things, i guess.

I heard some of them say its okay and many of them are still ringing my ears with move on.

In the famous words of Kate Perry i ask them back where do i go?

Where do i move on?

For the past 1 yr 6 month 7 days and 8 hrs all i had known was her.

Loved her to the core of every particle in me.

Woken up everyday to her voice and fallen asleep to her dreams.

Woven my world around her amazingly magical laughter.

Given every inch of my being and non being to making her stay.

And one fine day, i woke up and it was all gone..

It hurt so bad even to breath that i almost felt empty.........

And than people say MOVE ON and i say WHERE TO?

She was all that i had. My destination , my path and my destiny.

Someday i hope i am able to dream again but for now let me feel the pain of LOOSING THE HALF OF ME.

The Reason

Hope is what takes us high up and hope is what throws us down. I can't say how many things does it break but the fall sure hurts real damn bad!


15 June 2012, i stood on the edge of what seemed like a cliff giving ways to direct the end of life. I stood some good damn 
hundreds of feet away from ground but dangerously close to death. With a bottle of some God forsaken local beer brand i was only conscious enough to remember that the river was Teesta somewhere in Sikkim and it was roaring brown with the waters of impending monsoon.
   If i would have taken that jump, you people would have been saved from the misery of reading my sorry story!


Many if's and buts, what would have happened if i would have jumped? What now that i didn't? What this? Why that? and blah and blah and blah.... 




   This is not a story. Nah! i won't label it so. It doesn't have a  start, it doesn't have a climax neither a lesson to be learn't. Its an incident that shook me inside out, churned my soul to twisted angles, killed me , sent me to hell and yet brought it back to life.